SHOE FETISH -- What is a parent to do when they find their child has a shoe fetish?
That is a very good question that I feel was answered well on a web site called Parent Talk.
Here is a copy of a few parent threads regarding this discussion. See if you agree with the thoughts they shared. The perspective on this was approached with an open mind and apparently responded to by others with a shoe and foot fetish. Clearly we might agree with the thought that once the fetish sets into place it would be very hard to end it, if it could be ended at all. The best approach is clearly finding a reasonable way to adjust to the additional sexual nature of having an active fetish and develop ways of combining this with an active social life style and perhaps heterosexual or homosexual sex life. Many believe that in the case of a shoe fetish many fetishists view their fetish as a bonus. The site would agree, they consider it as an additional and useful sexuality and an alternative to direct masturbation. Most, but not all, consider themselves to be a heterosexual, or other, with a shoe fetish, making them bisexual in a different way, (hetero and shoes). Perhaps a bisexual with a shoe fetish might then be considered a tri sexual. (hetero, gay, and shoes).
(numerous unkown contributors)
Posted by on
February 21, 2002 at 14:24:56: WEB Parents Talk
Yesterday afternoon, I discovered that my fourteen year old son had taken a pair of my old clogs into his room and was using then to masturbate with. I don't ever wear the shoes anymore, and I allowed him to keep them. I asked my husband to speak with him about it. I feel that as long as he keeps this in the privacy of his own room, then there should be no harm. But was I wrong in letting him have my old shoes?
Posted by GNM on April 10, 2002 at 23:13:24: In Reply to: Teenage son with a shoe fetish posted by Crystal on February 21, 2002 at 14:24:56:
Crystal, I know what your son is going through. I have had a fetish for women's feet and shoes since I was very young, and believe me at times it has been destructive. The worst thing you can do is try to make him stop, he'll just hide it even more. This will always be with him for life. He needs your support, and you need to help him to learn how to control it, and not let it control him. It took me many years to be open about my foot fetish, once I was open about it and able to talk about it, the women I know were understanding and it felt like the weight of the world was lifted off of my shoulders. If he can learn to control it and be open with it, he'll be alright, and for this he needs you and your support.
Posted by GNM on April 11, 2002 at 20:34:32: In Reply to: Re: Teenage son with a shoe fetish posted by Crystal on April 11, 2002 at 08:51:26:
Crystal, that would not be a bad idea, to get him a pair or two of womens shoes and keep it in the privacy of his own room. But you do need to communicate with him and support him. He'll have to learn to control his fetish and not let it control him. Believe me I found myself out of control at times. I have learned that once a man has a foot(or shoe) fetish, it will most likely be with him for life. This usually starts when your very young and since it becomes part of one's sex drive, it is with them for life. I found myself countless times trying to talk women into taking their shoes off, a couple of times I almost got into some trouble over it. Please for God's sake, help him learn to control his fetish and the best way is to be open about it.
Posted by Crystal on April 11, 2002 at 08:51:26: In Reply to: Re: Teenage son with a shoe fetish posted by GNM on April 10, 2002 at 23:13:24:
I thought about letting him find a pair of women's shoes he likes, and I would buy them for him. I would ask that he keep the activity in the privacy of his own room. I really don't want to be the "bad guy" (or bad girl) in all this. I just don't want him to be going around getting in trouble by trying to get other women's shoes. I guess if he had his own, he would keep it to himself.
Posted by Michelle on April 15, 2002 at 10:35:02: In Reply to: Re: Teenage son with a shoe fetish posted by GNM on April 11, 2002 at 20:34:32:
I bought him a couple of pairs of shoes. I let him pick them out. I let him go to the mall and see what he could find. I just gave him a prepaid credit card and he bought them himself. I hope I did the right thing. To my surprise he bought them at a resale shop.
Posted by GNM on April 16, 2002 at 21:03:07: In Reply to: Re: Teenage son with a shoe fetish posted by Michelle on April 15, 2002 at 10:35:02:
I think you did, it may sound strange to say so, but I think you did do the right thing. Let him know you care, and support him. He needs understanding, and not to be ridiculed. growing up with a foot(or shoe) fetish is not easy. There were times when someone would say to me, in front of other people, that they heard I liked women feet and I always felt very small when it was asked. Most of the time they were trying to have fun at my expense. It took me years to actually start talking about it, and that came when a lady friend of mine asked me in private. This is why I say to help him learn to control it and it not control him.
I just happened to stumble across this message and well I can really understand the situation of your son Crystal as I myself am shoe fetishist. I think you have done the right thing ..by buying him a couple of shoes.. but I would like to point out that you should definitely work out a plan to reduce his fetish over the time else it can get worse. I have seen it happening to me. I don’t know what the thoughts of other people would be on this issue, but I feel in time he shall have to curb it somehow. Please do feel free to talk to me on this perspective if you would want to follow up. You could also mail me at ---@yahoo.com coz I dont read this board regularly but I shall try to follow up. Hope it I can help a bit. Have a good day.
Great, glad to hear it is working out. He'll have to learn that when he gets involved in a relationship with girls that he will not be able to make demand to them about their shoes, stockings, or feet. He'll have to learn that he can't dominate them in this way. If he finds a girl one day who will meet him half way then he'll do alright. As long as he learns to control the fetish he'll be fine. Having experienced the same type of fetish, i know what it is like to be out of control. You have showed him some respect and some trust, which is exactly what he needs in these troubled and confusing times for him. You are truly a loving mother and I commend you for that. I'm sure with your help, he'll learn to control his fetish and develope a good relationship with a nice understanding girl someday. For now the key word is communication. Your on the right track, just keep up your support for him, and good luck.
There is no such thing as controlling a fetish. the longer it is present the more it is reinforced. I have been struggling with mine ( I love fancy pumps, especially black patent leather). for 60 years. It is too pleasurable. Good luck!